Lenry and the Unexpected Expected Package

TWO WEEKS LATER...

Voldemort Slater had promoted me to her assistant. I realised that I did not like evil. I liked super total destructive evil! Well at least until I met Lenry the only other boy/girl on the planet. He invited me to his apartment. Where I saw his pet rodent toad. IMPOSSIBLE! I had the only living rodent toad and his must be destroyed. I muttered an evil chant Voldemort Slater told me and set the toad aflame! Oops. The toad (which could fly) flew into Lenry's eyes blinding him for life. He dumped me... just liked the other 489. Typical! I went home and bought How to Impress your Boyfriend With Evil - The Christmas Edition on Amazon. I spent the rest of the week stalking the mailman with a rifle to check if he had my package. I really wanted that book. I looked out the window and finally saw the mailman. He left the package on the front step. I had a thought, What if he decided to take the package and destroy it with a grenade! I took no chances, he must die! I chanted a ritual V.S. had showed me and he died in a lot of pain. I took the package and opened it. It was not my book... definitely not.... it was a baby boy!

Voldemort Slater

(run while you can)

(the darkness is coming)...

Whoa, why did I just write that? I must of been possessed. He, He, He!

Things have been awful lately! First of all, my boyfriend, Anton, dumped me! Well... he didn't really dump me. I think that maybe perhaps I killed Anton!(Sigh) I just thought that Viper( my pet rodent toad) might have wanted a tasty snack and Anton's flesh looked sooooo juicy,tender,succulent, moist,mouth-watering,finger-lickin' good. I told Anton that I was going to massage him. I didn't. Viper did. Viper attacked. I laughed menacingly. Viper tore Anton's face off with one bite the devourered the rest of his body. Viper started to grow. Soon he was as big as the room. The room exploded setting the gas tank aflame. I had gone too far! Viper jumped out the window setting rampage across the city. Viper was as big as a skyscraper! But then a blast of red engulfed Viper destroying him... and the Southern Hemisphere. Viper died. I started to cry. My only friend was dead. But fate had lured me here for a reason! Voldemort Slater, my boss and also destroyer of good and emperor of darkness walked up to me. He had killed Viper. I took my bazooka out of my purse and aimed. " Stop! I want you to join me in taking over the ENTIRE... Toad Magazine! Of course with evil." Even though he was a dark emperor and killed Viper I said "Okay!"

TOAD MAGAZINE

Hi, I'm Bobby. You may have seen my hit TV show 'Ugly Bobby' on Religious Channel 86 (it's the cheapest channel). You may find this confusing but I'm a girl with all the parts of a boy(willy). The doctors tell me that I'm just a normal boy but what do doctors know! I work in New York city for Toad Magazine. It's a magazine for people with a love of fashion and poisonous rodent toads. So basically: Toads + Fashion = BOBBY! I'll be updating you on all my news so come back soon.